Forgotten Ads: Walls Sausages (2004)

Dogs viciously attack their owners in this crazy pair of ads…

Many people around the world would know the company Wall’s primarily for their ice cream range. Many would recognise the Wall’s logo from Cornettos, Vienettas and tubs of Carte D’or. Many people, although not as many, would know the name Wall’s for their meat and sausages brand. Although the two brands use different logos, are owned by separate conglomerates, and choose to market themselves differently, both brands were started by the same butcher back in 1786. On the marketing tools, the two Wall’s brands have used remarkably alternative methods of marketing themselves over the years.

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Ask someone to mention a Wall’s ice cream advert. Most likely, they will remember the ‘Just One Cornetto’ ads which ran during the 1980s, 1990s and even the 2000s. In these ads, an Italian singer would sing alternate lyrics to the Neopolitan song ‘O Sole Mio’, first written in 1898, to avow the virtues of the coned ice cream. These ads have lived on in popular culture for decades now, with people still breaking into the ‘Just One Cornetto’ song even today. This event may even happen completely out of context, as this author can attest to having experienced. While the ‘Just One Cornetto’ ads have kept Wall’s ice cream brand in the spotlight for many years, the same cannot be said for the Wall’s meat and sausages brand. Like the ice cream brand, the main point of marketing for Wall’s sausages has been fairly constant over the years. While the advertising for Cornetto ice creams, involved ‘O Sole Mio’, the advertising for Wall’s sausages has also revolved around one subject: talking dogs.

In 1993, Wall’s produced adverts in which a man tried to teach his dog to say the word ‘sausages’. However, every time the dog saw sausages, he would say ‘Wall’s’. After trying and failing multiple times, the ads would end with the owner being caught in his endeavour by the rest of his family walking in. Why an owner is: a) trying to teach his dog to talk b) not taken aback by the act his dog can talk, and can understand him enough to say the opposite of what his owner wants him to say. The second advert in this series showed that the owner’s dog could identify and audibly say the words for ‘saws’ and hedges’ but still said ‘Wall’s’ whenever the dog saw ‘sausages’. Despite this absurd premise, the adverts had a clear marketing message. Think sausages, think Wall’s, a concept similar to Beans Means Heinz for example. Simple, but effective. 11 years later, that same message may have been lost in the shuffle when Wall’s Sausages aired another series of ads.

In 2004, an ad for Wall’s Sausages aired which has since titled ‘Kitchen Rumble’. In the advert, a family sits down for lunch. Let me run it down for you. A husband discovers that his wife is cooking ‘Wall’s Original Recipe Sausages’ and slightly flirts with her. Upon hearing the name of the brand, the ears of the family’s dog (a similar breed to the dog from the 1993 adverts) prick up and say ‘Wall’s’. When the dad brings the sausages over to the dining table, he is suddenly attacked by his dog for no reason. Thus engages a scuffle between man and man’s best friend as the shocked family looks on and the dog fervently tries to take the Wall’s Sausages for himself. The grappling ends when the owner distracts the dog with a non-existent cat, to which the dog obliges and leaps out the window. While the family sit to enjoy their meal of sausages and other food, the dog tries to jump back into the house, only into a now-closed window. You can see the full ad in the embedded video below:

So, what an advert that was. Instead of the 1993 ads, in which the message is: think sausages, think Wall’s, the takeaway of ‘Kitchen Rumble’ seems to be that ‘Wall’s sausages are so good, your own dog will go through you just to get to them, even by ripping you to shreds’. If this message wasn’t clear from the first ad, it smacks you right in the face with the sequel ad. Let me run this down for you :

Presumably, on a date night, a young man and his girlfriend are set to have dinner together. On the menu: Wall’s Microwaveable Sausages (I’ll get to that later). Once again, upon hearing what is on the menu, the dog perks up from resting and starts to attack the young man. On this occasion, however, the dog’s ferocity is dialled up to 11. He jumps on the young man, forcing him back into the flat/house’s utility room. He then proceeds to bite the man’s crotch and tear his jeans, causing them to fall and reveal his GB flag boxer shorts. The dog then wets a tea towel before beginning to repeatedly whip his owner’s backside as the man yells in pain. The girlfriend, presumably not hearing any of this, opens the door to see an embarrassing sight: her boyfriend on all fours with his jeans lowered and his dog holding a tea towel in his mouth. She chooses to awkwardly back away from this situation. The dog then makes a try for the sausages, jumping into a closed door. End scene. Watch the advert below if you don’t believe me:

How should I describe this second advert? I think insane would be the right word. While absurdly funny and memorable, the dog’s attack on his owner is a lot more vicious compared to the first advert. Compared to the first ad, the owner in the second advert isn’t anywhere near the Wall’s microwaveable sausages when they are being cooked. The dog doesn’t even make a bid to claim the sausages until the advert’s end once they’ve been cooked. He simply attacks his owner and bites his crotch before whipping him with a tea towel. In this case, the dog seems to attack his owner for simply having the gall to buy Wall’s Microwaveable Sausages and fail to inform him. Once again, the message of this Wall’s ad campaign appears to be ‘Wall’s sausages are so good, your own dog will viciously attack you just to get to them’. Also, who would get that crazy over microwaved sausages?

After 2004, this ‘cursed’ ad campaign by Wall’s Sausages was mercifully stopped after these two adverts, as the two examples above are the only two from this campaign I can find online. However, f you thought that Wall’s Sausages was done using dogs to sell their meat, you would be wrong. Sven years later, in 2011, two new ads were aired to advertise Wall’s sausages. In these adverts, a man would eat a Wall’s product given to him by a woman. Overcome by the taste of the Wall’s sausage product, the man would proceed to take a ring box out of his pocket. The ring box would contain a tiny dog named ‘Alan’, who would proceed to serenade the woman. The woman in question would often look confused at the sight of this small dog serenading her. Positive that the dog in this new advert would become a viral sensation, Wall’s even created a Twitter account for ‘Alan’ the dog under the username @wallsdogalan. This Twitter account no longer exists as of 2020. See the original ad for yourself:

The more things change, the more things stay the same, so don’t be surprised the next time Wall’s try to sell their sausages using a talking dog. Just hope that the company is past causing dogs to viciously attack their owners.